Learning to Take a Step Back

     My life becomes super hectic at certain times of the year, and in those times, I often forget the important things in life. Right now is one of those times. So lately I have been learning to step back from everything for just a few minutes everyday and take time to renew myself. I don't know if any of you are like me, but I am a very determined person. Once I start something, I am committed to it and even when tempted to quit I can't convince myself to do so. This characteristic can be considered a strength and a weakness. It becomes a huge weakness when I over commit myself. My solution to this problems appears in the form of lists. If you were to walk into my bedroom, you would automatically see the list posted on my door consisting of five 8.5 by 11 pages full of assignments, tests, and things to do for one of my jobs. This is only the first list you would see. Looking closer at my room, you would find a list on my desk reminding me to do things like wash my face and take my vitamin in the morning and a calender on my wall with more lists of what I have to do in the week. My life revolves around lists. Without these lists, I would never get anything accomplished because I would never know where to start. Yet what happens when I start working on something that is not on my list but I know it needs to happen? I have a bad habit of adding things to my list once I have accomplished the task just so I can cross it off.
     So how do you deal with your overwhelming amount of tasks? Are you a list maker like me or do you just start on one task, accomplish it, and move on? Do you find yourself over committing often? These are questions you have to ask before you can start learning to take a step back.
    Priorities: "the right of precedence over others (dictionary.com)." Too many times people don't know how to set priorities in their life. Or else people choose to set unimportant things as higher priorities than the really important things in life. Because I am so goal-oriented in life, I often struggle to set the important things in life has higher priorities. At this point you are probably questioning how this happens when I am a list maker. It is because the important things are those that often don't make it on to my lists: God and people. My number one priority should always be to put God first in my life. I struggle with this a lot, but lately I've realized something: He can go on my list too. I know it seems kind of ridiculous to put my time with God on my to-do list as something to cross off each day, but why does it seem ridiculous? If I put Him on my list, I remember to sit down and take time with Him. If I don't put Him on my list, I get so busy I tend to forget. So I have learned this semester that it is okay to put God on my to-do list if that is what it takes to bring me to a halt and let Him take the reigns of my life. My second priority in life should always be people. There is no purpose to all the other things without people. The other night I had probably fifty urgent items on my lists, but I chose to go out and spend time with my grandma. What did I do while I was with her? I sat still, ate, and listened. My grandma is one of the best storytellers I know. So this week I not only chose to put off some homework, but I also chose to give up my relax time (reading a book or watching TV) to sit still and listen to history--family history. Another example, my best friend goes to school several states away from me; and if we aren't careful, we can go several weeks without even texting back and forth. Then last summer she spent two full months overseas and the only contact we had was intermittent emails and one Skype call. I found that I greatly missed hearing her voice and being able to contact her any time I wanted to do so. This brings me to my point. It's okay to put people on your to do list as well. Each week this friend and I try to schedule a time to talk. Sometimes we stay up a little later. Sometimes we get up a little earlier. Sometimes we put off our homework. Sometimes we are completely free and get to just revel in talking to our best friend (very rarely). My third and final example came about a week or so ago. One night I was supposed to be studying theology and my housemate was supposed to be doing physics homework. I paused in the midst of my studying to ask her a question/make a comment about theology. The result was several hours of just sitting in our living room talking about things ranging from salvation to cats to why our senior years of high school were not the best. I didn't get any studying done that evening for theology and she didn't get any physics homework done. Nevertheless, I don't regret a single minute of that evening because I learned more about my friend and she learned more about me.
     So here's my point to all of this ranting. We, as humans, get so caught up in what we have to do that we often forget what we should do. What's the difference you ask? The difference is that we should always put God and people first in our lives. They are what we SHOULD do. What we HAVE to do is our work, our school, our laundry, and anything else that makes our to-do list. My final thought for the day: do you need to learn to take a step back and breathe so you can accomplish everything you have to do today? Then step back, breathe in time with God and other people, then look at the next item on your to-do list. Don't look at your to-do list, panic, and put off breathing until later. Just as you can't survive without the air you breathe in and out every day, you cannot fully live without spending time with God and other people.

Matthew 22:37-39

"Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Love, but Not Just the Hopeless Romantic Kind

     It's way past my bedtime and I should be doing homework or sleeping right now, but instead I am lying here thinking and wasting time. What am I thinking about? Well you really don't want the in-depth answer so I'll give you the simple one...love. In fact, I've been contemplating love a lot lately. You all probably know by now that I tend to be a hopeless romantic. Yet instead of focusing on my love life--or lack there of--I've been studying Biblical love along with the five love languages. So here's a few insights into how I've been thinking lately.
     First, if you haven't read anything about the five love languages, you probably should. There are versions of the book for couples, singles, teens, and kids. There are also summaries you can find online and a short profile assessment you can take to better understand yourself (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/). I'm not trying to promote anything. I am not directly connected with the book or theories. I have just found some great insight through it in the past month. A quote from the book I have posted on my wall summarizes the views of the book. "Expressing love in a person's primary love language enhances all relationships." The Bible talks many times about loving everybody (Mark 12:30-31). So why isn't our goal to understand how to express love to everyone around us? Everyone has a different way that they express and accept love. If we want to love those closest to us, we need to understand what makes them tick and we need to allow them to see what makes our heart feel loved. So as I make it my goal to try and show love to those around me in the ways that will fill them most, what steps will you take to love those around you? Who do you need to open up to so they can better love you?
     The next insight I feel I should share also partially comes from this book, but more completely it comes from the Bible. Love is a choice. Now don't get me wrong, I definitely believe in falling in love. However, the "in love" experience can only last for so long. We fall head over heals for someone and then eventually we begin to see flaws. According to the Bible, we are called to love our enemies. Here's my question: if we have the capabilities to choose to love our enemies, then isn't it a logical assumption that we choose to love everyone? When the "in love" experience dies away, what will you choose to do? Keep loving or walk away?  Also, are we taking time to choose to love those who are hurting us? If love is a choice, we should be able to step back and love everyone around us to the fullest.
     Now that I've ranted well past my bed time and not done any homework, I have one final question for you. If you are searching/waiting for romantic love like I am, are you just hoping and begging for the "in love" experience or do you want the real deal? Real love is about waking up each morning and choosing to love the person to which you have committed your life. Choosing that no matter what happens or what they do or who else comes along you will forever love that person only second to God. So are you looking for a person you can commit to choose to love or just someone who gives you a hype until something better comes along? Well that's all the deep thinking this stressed out and exhausted college student can handle for now. Goodnight to all and to all a quacky new day.