Rants from the Crazy Duck Lady: Meet the Ducks

We've all heard of the crazy single lady who has a bazillion cats living in a tiny apartment with her. Well who has time to care for those useless cats in this busy world? So instead I have adopted tons of ducks. No, not real ducks...Rubber ducks.

These are the ducks that currently share my dorm room with my roommate and me. They normally live in a big blue tub, affectionately called the duck pond, under my table, but it is under renovation right now. (Before you start to think I am really insane, I do interact with real people. I just enjoy the quirkiness of rubber ducks.)

Meet the Ducks

This is Rory. He is a Roman Centurion and he keeps guard over the other duckies in the pond.

This is Super Duper Duckerton (aka George Goose). He's an accountant by day and a super hero by night, protecting the inhabitants of Blue Tubs.

Meet Potsi (right) and Mathew, or Math, (left). They are still in the friendship stage of their relationship, but I expect it to soon blossom into something more.

The ultimate mother figure of the pond is Pickles (center). Her sons, Paco (left) and Taco (right), keep the tub hopping with their silly antics and rambunctious attitudes.

The Beard family members are the old, wise rulers of the pond. Captain Bill Beard (back left) gave up his travels of the open sea to join is beautiful bride, Princess Zaria (back right), in ruling the kingdom her parents endowed to her upon her grandfather's passing. Their son, Acorn Theodore (center), joined the picture an appropriate amount of time later; and now they rule fair and easy as one big, happy family.

A Little Bit of History

Constructed for my creative writing club last spring.

"Ducks. Ducks. Ducks. Who doesn't love a good duck?

"In the town of Blue Tubs, everyone loves ducks…well mostly because they are ducks, but we aren't going to discriminate. These ducks are full of spirit and loving down to the last duckling of the town. Let me introduce you to them.

"First you should meet the rulers of Blue Tubs, the Beards. They are a happy family, but they definitely have their hands full when it comes to the kingdom. Princess Zaria inherited her grandmother’s kingdom of Duck Pond when she was nine and has been ruling it fairly with the help of her parents ever since. At eighteen, she met and married Captain Bill Beard. As if it wasn't hard enough for a young girl to run a kingdom with her parents ruling another land, you added a dreaded pirate to the mix and things got a little crazy. Now don’t get me wrong. Other than the occasional “Argh, walk the plank matey,” Bill Beard has abandoned all of his pirate ways for the love of his live and their precious child, but that doesn't mean that his past doesn't still haunt him sometimes. Their son, Acorn Theodore, is a bright young lad with an even brighter future. That is if he can keep is tongue in check. He’s a little rambunctious, but having a pirate as a father can do that to you. All in all, the Beard family has been ruling Blue Tubs for a couple years now and everything runs quite smoothly.

"One of the main reasons things run so smoothly is because of Rory, the former Roman Centurion. He serves as sheriff of Blue Tubs and personally stands guard every night. Some people have questioned whether he is really a robot because he never seems to sleep or eat, but as long as he protects them they don’t really care. Rumors aside, Rory loves the people of Blue Tubs and would do anything to protect them, but sometimes he can’t do it on his own. When those times arise, he calls on a fellow crime fighter.

"Super Duper Duckerton to the rescue. Duckerton serves as an aid to Rory when things start to fall apart. His abilities to sense danger and lift two hundred times his body weight come in handy when old “friends” of Captain Bill Beard come to visit. Super Duper will swoop in and promptly carry the incoming ships away. Since Blue Tubs is quite small, all of the town’s ducks know Super Duper Duckerton’s real identity is George Goose, but that doesn't matter when it comes to protecting the town from invading ruffians. By day, he may be a number crunching accountant, but by night he is a crime-fighting machine.

"When it comes to food and entertainment in the town of Blue Tubs, there’s no better place to go than Momma Pickles’. She can whip you up nearly any kind of fish that would make you feel like you were back in your own momma’s kitchen. While she’s cooking, her twin boys, Paco and Taco, will regale you with stories of their latest adventure or their newest get rich quick scheme. They may be young, but they’re already some of the most prominent businessmen in the kingdom. It wouldn't surprise any of the citizens of Blue Tubs if the twins were to grow up to be the richest ducks in the world.

"If you saunter on down to Momma Pickles’, you will probably pass by the cutest young couple in the kingdom, Potsi and Mathew, or Math to everyone in town. They haven’t been dating for long, but you can tell already that it is a relationship that will last. They both teach at the local elementary school. Potsi instructs Acorn, Paco, and Taco in Quackerton, math, and spelling, while Math is responsible for teaching them science and the history of Duck Pond. The town likes to take bets on when the couple will get married, but Potsi and Math are perfectly content to take things slow.

"By now you probably think I am a little bit insane, but please don’t hold my lack of sanity against the ducks of Blue Tubs for all they have for you is love and acceptance."

An Update on the Ducks

Since we last talked, Potsi and Math took their relationship to a whole new level by getting married. They will soon be welcoming their first bundle of ducky joy into the world. Acorn, Paco, and Taco have progressed in school and are excited to see the new life their teachers will soon have with their child. Momma Pickles' has expanded her restaurant into a franchise with a branch in Le' Quackers and De Pato. She also seems to be getting mighty friendly with George Goose. Who knows if we will be hearing wedding bells again soon in Blue Tubs? Princess Zaria and Captain Bill Beard are getting along just fine, and may be surprising Acorn with a sibling sometime in the near future but you didn't hear that from me! Rory is still Rory. Silently watching over the town and waiting for his mate to come.

The Newest Additions

Lieutenant James T. Duck and Colonel C.S. Quackerton, members of the Blue Tubs air force, returned home last August to a welcoming crowd of friends, family, and fans. Lieutenant Duck actually comes as a transfer from the outskirts of the kingdom ruled by Princess Zaria's parents. He followed his commanding officer (Quackerton) home from the Great Disagreement like the lost little duckling he has always been. For Colonel Quackerton, the return to Blue Tubs was well overdue. His family helped to found this kingdom and even had the language named after them. So he's pretty important, but most people respect him for the commitment he has made to protecting their way of life, not his family's fame or fortune.

Amli and Jack Pumpers came to visit in November and found the scenery so lovely they just couldn't leave. They are farmers by nature, but they get along quite well in the city by raising fresh garden produce for Momma Pickles' restaurants and everyone's dinner tables. In fact, they have begun a thriving Farmer's Market, drawing in business from many surrounding kingdoms. They come for food and stay for the friends.

Papa Kringle came around for the good food and festivities around Christmas time. As you can guess, he's quite holly and jolly and bright. He came bearing gifts for everyone in town, but just couldn't seem to escape the joyful air of the kingdom. After delivering all of his gifts, he settled in to an apartment above Momma Pickles' place and works as her part-time chef, when he hasn't mysteriously disappeared to an unknown wintery place that is.

Finally, we encounter the light of the tub, Nachtlicht. She happens to be an old friend of Rory's and showed up out of the blue one day. No one knows where she came from or exactly why she showed up, but each night she patrols the pathways with her old friend and shines a new light on the kingdom of Blue Tubs. Is there romance in the air once again in the duck pond?

Family Pictures