Stress

     Contrary to the title, this post doesn't actually revolve around how stressed I am right now. Actually I am finally at a point where I can breathe again. A point that I have rarely reached in the past four years--actually in all my life. Because I am a people pleaser, I tend to say yes to everything, but we are getting off track. Today, I want to talk about relaxation.
     Do you have something you love to do but can never find time to do it? For me, I have two things that are sure to relieve stress and make me happy: baking and writing. My closest friends can tell you that their favorite times to be around me are when I am most stressed. This fact probably seems weird to you, but they know that they will probably receive some sort of baked good out of my stress. Pies, cookies, cupcakes, cakes, cobblers, bread puddings...you name it, I've probably baked it for my friends in the past few years. I mean stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Because I know they really appreciate all this good food, I tend to make time to bake even when I don't really have a spare moment. It's all in good fun, but it seems to rob me of a more personal form of stress relief: poetry.
     There used to be a point in my life that whenever I couldn't handle my emotions anymore I would turn to a blank page and begin to write. After four years of writing essay after essay, I've felt the creative juices being sucked out of me. While my pen or keyboard used to be a place to let my emotions overflow, now it is something that threatens to overwhelm me. I don't like that. I don't like it one bit. I want to be creative again. Therefore, today I took time to sit with a tasty drink, good music, and a blank page until the juices started flowing. Guess what?!? It worked. Granted it took several horrible poems to get to a good one, but my mental block finally fell. I'm not saying I'm going to win a Nobel Prize for Literature or anything, but it felt so great to finally allow my emotions explode onto the page.
     I have to admit that I was a little mad at myself for letting it go that long without writing something besides homework. Nonetheless, I pose this question to you (if anyone out there actually reads my blog): do you neglect the things that truly make you happy because they just aren't priorities? If so, how can you make time in your schedule for this activity? I guarantee you that if you take a few minutes to completely enjoy your life everything else with begin to fall in place--even in the very moments that seem like life will fall apart if you take a pause. Today, I promise myself to always take time to write, even when the task seems too daunting. What challenge can you make to improve your mental health this week? Remember to always have a quacky day.

Goodbye, But I'm Taking You With Me

     As my college career draws to a close, I've been doing a lot of reminiscing. All semester, I've been counting down the days until graduation. Today, it is five days until graduation and I want the time to slow down. But life doesn't work that way. We can't just speed through it in one moment and beg it to play in slow motion the next. We are each given twenty-four hours in a day, seven days a week, and fifty-two weeks a year. The question is what we will do with that time. It's an age old question that has been posed to every generation; but we as humans forget that time is not just something for us to watch tick off the clock.
     We turn now to Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NASB)

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven--

A time to give birth and a time to die;

A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.

A time to kill and a time to heal;

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to weep and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn and a time to dance.

A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.

A time to search and a time to give up as lost;

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;

A time to be silent and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate;

A time for war and a time for peace."

Every moment has a purpose. I've learned this fact the hard way so many times over the years because I forget to look at the present instead of the fear of the future or regret of the past.

     Let's be honest here, folks. Change stinks. It stinks a lot. We finally get to a point where we enjoy what we are doing and everything has to change. While I have enjoyed college, I'm at a place where I can't stay here any longer. I've been taught everything I'm supposed to know (and I've even learned a few things from my classes). My friends and schedule and life have all driven me a little quackers in the pursuit of graduation. I've made a ton of awesome memories, and that's exactly what they will always be: just memories. I cannot go back and relive those moments. I cannot stay stuck in the same moment for the rest of my life just because it's the best one I've ever experienced. It's time to move on to new things. Yet then I remind myself that I don't have to leave everything behind to begin the next adventure.

     We tend to think that saying goodbye puts an immediate end to everything we knew in order to live in the next moment. But what if it's not? What if we can take the best parts of what we already know and apply it to what is yet to come? Of course, we carry the memories with us and all the lessons we have learned. Yet, what about the people? Over the past four years, I've made several really great friends--friends that I plan to carry with me the rest of my life. Yet in the past week, I started contemplating how I can possibly take these friends with me into my new life.

     Even with all of the newfangled forms of communication these days, I really stink at it. My family lives a long ways away and I too often forget to contact them until I need something from them. It's not because I don't love them or don't want to talk to them. It's just because I am horrible at staying in contact with people. I blame it on my introvertedness. Because of the way my brain works, I take a long time to process things. Thus, I'm not very good at comebacks...but that's a different train of thought. I also feel like I can communicate more clearly and effectively if I write it out. This fact is because if it's written out I can read it over and over and over and over and over again until I have it perfect. If I am talking to someone in person or on the phone, I have a tendency to say things I quickly regret. Therefore, I'm nervous that I won't stay in contact with the friends I have now. Unless they are okay with long winded letters or emails every few weeks, I am scared it just won't happen.

     So I've been asking myself, "Duck Lady, why are you scared when you can do something about it?" I may be terrible at communication, but that doesn't mean I have to abandon my friendships. It just means that I will have to work at them. I can't just tell myself that my true friends will understand my silence because they know me personally. Friendships--just like love--are a two way street. Yes, I should expect my friends to understand that I don't always keep up with communication; but I also have to make the effort to meet them half way.

     At the very least, I'm not saying goodbye to these friends forever. No, it's just a "see you later." Just as one of my favorite quotes from the movie John Q. says, "Not goodbye. I hate goodbyes. See you later." I also have been thinking a lot about the song "Friends" by Michael W. Smith (I know it's a blast from the past, but bear with me). I know that my friendships I have built at this university will last for eternity even if we never speak again on this earth because I know that someday I will see these friends in Heaven. So I leave you with the first verse and chorus of this song.

"Packing up the dreams God planted

In the fertile soil of you

I can't believe the hopes He's granted

Means a chapter of your life is through

But we'll keep you close as always

It won't even seem you've gone

'Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever

If the Lord's the Lord of them

And a friend will not say never

'Cause the welcome will not end

Though it's hard to let you go

In the Father's hands we know

That a lifetime's not too long

To live as friends"

PS to all my friends: You need to know that even if it is radio silence for awhile from me, I will always be here for you no matter when, where, or what you need.