Parenthood

     Today I taught a two year old how to say nom nom nom when she ate something she liked. Then she started saying it in different voices just like she had heard me do. No I'm not a parent as anyone who has read my blog before would know. Yet this weekend I have been hanging out with a one year old and a two year old who came to live in my parents' house for a few days. These two precious girls have pretty much been the center of my world for the past three days. So no I'm not a mom yet, but I have been thinking about it a lot lately.
     In fact a friend and I were talking the other day and this very topic came up. He mentioned that he wasn't sure he ever wanted to be a father because he's scared he would mess them up too much. This threw me for a minute. It's hard for me to imagine someone not wanting to be a parent because all I've ever really wanted in life is to be a parent. Yet after the initial shock moment I remembered that not everyone is like me. So we talked about it. We had an interesting conversation and one real thought came out of it. Parenthood should be something that scares you. If it doesn't, you obviously aren't ready for it. When you bring a child into this world (or adopt), you become completely responsible for that child's welfare. It's an extremely daunting task. But if you are scared that you are going to mess those kids up, you might be ready. You can obviously admit that you have flaws and that those flaws may affect your children. But the very fact that you care enough to not want to hurt your children shows maturity. Every parent should know that they aren't perfect and that they will make mistakes with their kids. When I was talking with this friend, we also went on to talk about anger issues and how that has affected us and how it might affect our children. But it's not the anger or the mistakes that will affect our children as much as how we handle these things. I learned from my parents that blow ups and fights happen, but apologies must also happen. I learned that no matter whether you think you are wrong or not, if you can humble yourself to apologize for the way you reacted to the situation, you have made the right step towards fixing it. Believe me, my dad and I have had our share of fights, and unfortunately some of those fights have been in front of other people. I have needed to apologize to my dad and my friends for my actions many times. These friends have seen that my family is not perfect, but that we have learned over the years how to handle our mistakes.
     So is it wrong to be scared to become a parent? I don't think so. In fact, I think it's kind of important to have a healthy fear.
     In this Christmas season, we think about the birth of Christ, but what about His mother. I'm sure Mary was terrified. Actually she was so scared that she questioned a messenger of the Lord. Look at this passage:
     "But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.  You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus.  He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David,  and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.” “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”" (Luke 1:30-34 NIV84)
     We all know how the story goes. Mary accepts her duty and her pledged husband chose to accept his responsibilities as the earthly father of God. I'm sure they were scared out of their minds, but they did what God asked.
     So my point is that parenthood can be a very scary thing. Yet if you are nervous that you may mess your future (or present) kids up, think about the fact that they are part of God's plan for your life. Remember that even if it scares the dickens out of you, if you are called to be a parent, it is one of the most important callings you can ever receive in life. But if, after serious thought and many conversations with God, you discover that parenthood isn't for you, then invest in other people's kids. Because no child can ever have too many positive role models. So hike up your big boy (or girl) pants and learn that it's not fear that has the control, God does.